1. Mr Paul Martin owes BT £1000+ from using his landline. Now that takes some doing.
I wonder who's the bigger fool; BT for letting him run up such a large bill and then bugger off without a forwarding address or Mr Martin himself for being so stupid as to risk a County Court Judgement for talking too much as it were.
2. Some jobless guy who apparently works for the French government has 'invented' a wall with some sort of undulating surface in Paris. The idea is to discourage men who tend to relieve themselves in public on the streets of Paris. Basically, once urine lands on this techie wall, it immediately 'returns it to sender' by bathing the 'criminal' in his urine i.e le arroseur arrose [ the sprinkler sprinkled].
If you are a man and you are visiting Paris soon, you have been warned.
3. HRH The PoW is not as tall as you would have thought, at least in the flesh. Dont get me wrong, he's no midget but he defintely looks a lot taller on TV. We hung out on my birthday last week.
Apparently we are birthday mates. I knew I'd be famous one day........
4. These days I have to wear a tie to work everyday. I have noticed [with delight] that my 15.5" neck size shirts now struggle to button at the neck.
I have been praying and hoping to put on weight for the past 20 years or so without much luck.
I dont want to get excited but if indeed I have made some progress, there shall be a thanksgiving service in my church before the end of the year.
5. Without checking the internet I can list the past 5 Presidents of Indonesia starting with the current one
Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono
Megawati Sukarnoputri [aka Mega]
Abdrahman Wahid
Bachirudeen Jusuf Habibie
General Suharto
This information is unlikely to win you any pub quizzes, but I just thought someone out there might need it. No need to thank me for this, I am here all week.
P.S It's a good thing Mr Yudhoyono is the President because if he had to apply for jobs like the rest of us, he would really struggle to fit that name onto any application form.
6. Avid readers of this blog [if there is any such person out there, I can only shake my head in pity for you] will recollect my varied battles with dodgy British food and the resulting 'washing machine cycles' my stomach frequently subjects me to.
It turns out that I am 'lactose intolerant'. Amazing stuff.
How a Nigerian boy who grew up drinking and chewing [yes chewing] powdered milk can suddenly become 'something something' intolerant, beats me square.
Anyway I am currently on my 3rd pack of Alpro soya milk [recommended by an Architect...I know... that's how foolishly I make my decisions] and so far I have suffered no violent reactions.
7. Audis make some really sexy cars. Have you seen the R8? Pheeew!
Whatever you do though, try as much as possible to stay away from Audi automatics. The company simply doesnt know how to make 'em especially in the older models.
Once the gearbox decides it's had enough, the cost of repairing it will usually exceed the value of the car, 9 times out of 10.
8. What do people get from kissing as those 2 in the photo are doing? I simply refuse to understand the idea of 2 people exchanging saliva, halitosis and other assorted mouth infections in the name of 'love'.
Everywhere you go, you see people locking lips, usually for no apparent reason.
The moment the woman tilts her head to either side, you see the guy heading towards her, lips first...and before you can stop him to talk some sense into his head, he has landed one on the woman.....and even more annoyingly sometimes they linger there gazing into each other's eyes..presumably admiring each other's eye liners or contact lenses.
9. It is now very much possible to conduct your entire life via Facebook.
In one of the most remarkable stories I have heard about the thing; a friend told me he went to a party one night and left the place around 2am in the morning.
By the time he got home around 4am, the party pictures had already been uploaded onto Facebook complete with tags. Some tortured souls, who clearly need a cure for their insomnia, had even left comments on the photos.
This begs the question; why didnt the 'uploader' just stream the party live on the internet. Clearly it could have been done.
You must forgive me for my leave of absence...the London rat race has sort of caught up with me lately.
How have you been?
I have missed you guys, honest.
I wonder who's the bigger fool; BT for letting him run up such a large bill and then bugger off without a forwarding address or Mr Martin himself for being so stupid as to risk a County Court Judgement for talking too much as it were.
2. Some jobless guy who apparently works for the French government has 'invented' a wall with some sort of undulating surface in Paris. The idea is to discourage men who tend to relieve themselves in public on the streets of Paris. Basically, once urine lands on this techie wall, it immediately 'returns it to sender' by bathing the 'criminal' in his urine i.e le arroseur arrose [ the sprinkler sprinkled].
If you are a man and you are visiting Paris soon, you have been warned.
3. HRH The PoW is not as tall as you would have thought, at least in the flesh. Dont get me wrong, he's no midget but he defintely looks a lot taller on TV. We hung out on my birthday last week.
Apparently we are birthday mates. I knew I'd be famous one day........
4. These days I have to wear a tie to work everyday. I have noticed [with delight] that my 15.5" neck size shirts now struggle to button at the neck.
I have been praying and hoping to put on weight for the past 20 years or so without much luck.
I dont want to get excited but if indeed I have made some progress, there shall be a thanksgiving service in my church before the end of the year.
5. Without checking the internet I can list the past 5 Presidents of Indonesia starting with the current one
Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono
Megawati Sukarnoputri [aka Mega]
Abdrahman Wahid
Bachirudeen Jusuf Habibie
General Suharto
This information is unlikely to win you any pub quizzes, but I just thought someone out there might need it. No need to thank me for this, I am here all week.
P.S It's a good thing Mr Yudhoyono is the President because if he had to apply for jobs like the rest of us, he would really struggle to fit that name onto any application form.
6. Avid readers of this blog [if there is any such person out there, I can only shake my head in pity for you] will recollect my varied battles with dodgy British food and the resulting 'washing machine cycles' my stomach frequently subjects me to.
It turns out that I am 'lactose intolerant'. Amazing stuff.
How a Nigerian boy who grew up drinking and chewing [yes chewing] powdered milk can suddenly become 'something something' intolerant, beats me square.
Anyway I am currently on my 3rd pack of Alpro soya milk [recommended by an Architect...I know... that's how foolishly I make my decisions] and so far I have suffered no violent reactions.
7. Audis make some really sexy cars. Have you seen the R8? Pheeew!
Whatever you do though, try as much as possible to stay away from Audi automatics. The company simply doesnt know how to make 'em especially in the older models.
Once the gearbox decides it's had enough, the cost of repairing it will usually exceed the value of the car, 9 times out of 10.
8. What do people get from kissing as those 2 in the photo are doing? I simply refuse to understand the idea of 2 people exchanging saliva, halitosis and other assorted mouth infections in the name of 'love'.
Everywhere you go, you see people locking lips, usually for no apparent reason.
The moment the woman tilts her head to either side, you see the guy heading towards her, lips first...and before you can stop him to talk some sense into his head, he has landed one on the woman.....and even more annoyingly sometimes they linger there gazing into each other's eyes..presumably admiring each other's eye liners or contact lenses.
9. It is now very much possible to conduct your entire life via Facebook.
In one of the most remarkable stories I have heard about the thing; a friend told me he went to a party one night and left the place around 2am in the morning.
By the time he got home around 4am, the party pictures had already been uploaded onto Facebook complete with tags. Some tortured souls, who clearly need a cure for their insomnia, had even left comments on the photos.
This begs the question; why didnt the 'uploader' just stream the party live on the internet. Clearly it could have been done.
You must forgive me for my leave of absence...the London rat race has sort of caught up with me lately.
How have you been?
I have missed you guys, honest.
© all rights reserved. photographs, images and content are copyright of ikawokolaso
processed in 0.448s